Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
