but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
