we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
