You work out of a Hotel?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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