i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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