Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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