Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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