I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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