tell your sister to shave her snatch
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
