i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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