Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
