There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
