She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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