Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
