i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
