Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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