Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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