I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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