You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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