And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
