Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
