so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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