2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
