I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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