its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We need to get me chipped asap
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
