Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
