we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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