Michael Bay diarrhea
Ketchup is God's man juice
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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