Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He passed out mid-signature
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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