If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
