So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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