That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
