It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
