I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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