The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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