I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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