Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
