Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
where are my eyebrows?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
