hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
