whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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