He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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