The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just had sex bonerless
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it's like iHOP with fire
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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