just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
