if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
