SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize