Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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