Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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