Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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