thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
