oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
